ASK ABDI: WHAT CAN HELP ME WALK MY PATH?

QUESTION: First of all, thank you for sharing your honest and deep perspective on spiritual and personal growth - it really means a lot to me.

Often times, I find myself very puzzled about the difference between desire and daydreaming. For desire, I mean the inner impulse that leads us towards ourselves and our talents and gifts. And for daydreaming, the compulsive activity of escaping reality constraining us in an unreal world ruled by our voracious ego.

Most of the time, in my experience, edges are not clear, and the first can easily blend into the second.

I am aware that there is maybe something else beyond desire, something that sounds like radical acceptance of life in its integrity, but I think it is a long way from where I am now.

So, at the present moment, I am dealing with desire - wondering what can help me walk my path and what instead is crippling me.

Could you address this topic, please?

ANSWER: I am happy that you found some use out of the book.

Your definitions of “desire” and “daydreaming” are helpful, as they can be misunderstood if taken out of your context. You are on the right track when you write that "in my experience, edges are not clear" between our true inner creative pulse and the ego's insatiable desire for sensory gratification. That has never been more true in a world where we are constantly being manipulated to abandon our inner voice for the relentless yearning of the ego. 

It takes work to quiet ourselves internally: that is the only way to connect with what you are looking for. Remember that we live in a culture that not only incessantly feeds the false voice, but also tricks us with false scenarios to obtain the unattainable. Of course, that road will only lead to a deeper thirst and more disconnection.

So room must be made on a daily level to check in with ourselves and FEEL as we listen. The inner voice can easily be missed as it is always with us. It does not scream nor put on airs or demands like the ego. So we can miss it initially because of its omnipresence. But turning the volume down of all the wants and needs for a little bit of time every day will allow us to become more conscious of our inner voice. This question that you ask is, in fact, that part of you calling you back to yourself. It will never let you down. "Radical acceptance of life in its integrity" is the fruit, destination, and daily reality of living in harmony with our soul’s directive.

Rest assured that all of us have an open invitation back to Self as soon as we desire. It is not that it is a long road as much as the fear the ego feels with the possibility that it is not as concrete as it fancies itself to be. A little bit of non-attachment goes a long way in this process. You are being called back to your Self. Keep asking for clarity and direction from that inner voice. It will surely come. 

We are always held, despite all appearances to the contrary.