THE GREAT DISMANTLING
Below is a transcription of the podcast episode, "The Great Dismantling":
What I want to talk to you about today is an emotional weather report. From what I’m seeing unfold in everyone’s lives, there’s a great dismantling going on everywhere. And everything is up for negotiation, everything is up for observation, everything is up for examination. And we have to be present to see and feel - more importantly - what stays in our lives and what goes.
In this dismantling, there are no half measures, so everything is up for review: relationships, work, health, spirituality. It’s like we’ve been sitting in a movie theater for a long, long time, and we’ve been so engrossed in the movie for so many days, weeks, months, years, lifetimes, that we’ve got sores on our butts for sitting so long. Our digestion is totally wrecked from just living on popcorn and soda, we’re bored from staring onto the screen and it’s time to move, but we still are too afraid, are too lazy, or too forgetful to actually get up out of our seats. And when we first entered this movie theater to experience this movie we’ll call “Life”, we put an alarm clock in all the movie theater seats. And the alarm clock started vibrating a while back, but we had really good foresight and realized that we’d probably be so engrossed in the movie that we wouldn’t respond to that. And then we put some heat into the seats so that it would start getting uncomfortably hot on our butts, but we knew even that wouldn’t do it. So then, we put some electricity in the seats so it would start giving us electrical shocks. And we’re sort of in that phase of the awakening process where we’re kind of bored with the movie - it’s kind of a horror movie, it’s not really pleasant anymore - but we’re so weakened from sitting in these seats for so long that we’re actually not fully capable of getting up and walking out towards those “Exit” signs. For some of us, our eyes have gotten so used to the darkness that even a little bit of light freaks us out. For some of us, we’re kind of crawling our way towards the “Exit” sign. And for some of us, we’re close to the “Exit” sign, but we’re just having this feeling that what’s on the other side is so different from where we’ve been for so long, that it’s freaking us out.
It’s important to remember that in this time of great, great transition, it’s okay; it’s actually healthy to feel extra anxiety, to feel a fear of the unknown. These are normal. We’re not supposed to sail through this whole huge revelation by just being calm and collected like some Hollywood star or starlet. It’s time to actually really negotiate all these things in our lives that don’t work. And we all know what they are. We all have that one, two, three places in our lives where things need to be sorted out, whether it’s caretaking, whether it’s being a narcissist, whether it’s being a taker, whether it’s hiding underneath being an over-giver, whether it’s someone being so panicky about so many things in life because we’ve never examined ourselves. All these things have to be examined right now. There is no free lunch for any of us. This is because we’re not on solid ground. But here’s the thing: we’re never on solid ground. That’s always an illusion. This is just becoming particularly shown to us right now, and part of it is by grounding ourselves; within ourselves we can learn to tolerate this ungrounded feeling. But that’s always there, that’s a part of dealing with this realm. So, old illusions that we’ve been holding for a long time are coming up, and it is just now that this truth is being revealed to us.
So, the first point that I want to make today is that we need to be aware that the old is not working, and that the new hasn’t revealed itself yet. What that means is we have to learn to tolerate this anxiety that comes up with the feeling of the unknown. We have to learn to live our lives in that unknown. The unknown is a place where the next step will be shown to us. So we have to learn to tolerate this space.
For example, let’s say a relationship in your life is off. That doesn’t mean you have to stay in it, that doesn’t mean you have to leave, whether it’s a love relationship or a friendship. It just means we have to start paying attention. We have to sit with it and see what the next level is - what comes up next. What ends up happening for most of us, because we can’t or we haven’t been taught to tolerate the unknown, either we shut that feeling down - i.e. we just stay in the relationship, even though it’s very harmful - or we can’t tolerate the anxiety and we just walk away from the relationship, having not learned our lesson, which means almost immediately we’ll repeat that relationship again. So, the trick here is - mental note - “This relationship is not working", and energetically sitting with it until the next piece of information comes up - "Oh, I’m actually helping this relationship not move forward because I’m so afraid of intimacy that I’m always in the caregiving mode", or "I hide behind always collapsing a relationship", or what have you. Then we act on the next piece.
The second point that I want to make is: feelings are very important, feelings are information. The way we actually work with this place of being in the unknown is to trust our feelings. I’m not talking about moods here, moods come and go. I’m actually talking about a deeper place: the feelings that are in our bodymind. These feelings are deeper than these moods and they’re pointers towards the truth of the matter. So, whenever we have a question - so the question being, for example, a relationship - we need to feel our way around it and through it, not think about it. Most of us, what I see commonly is we try to think something to death. Every angle gets covered: past, future… the problem with that is we get stuck in the problem. That thinking mind is the part of us that actually brought us into this situation. We need to go to the more archaic, the deeper, the older pieces, which is the feeling of the bodymind that will guide us. If you look back into any situation, when you first come across it, the feelings are the first thing that give us a foresight in what is going to happen. It’s just that most of us are so anxious that we go into the thinking mind and don’t listen to the feeling bodymind.
The third thing: one thing that keeps happening with people that I come across who are on a spiritual path - it’s very common, actually it’s comical - they keep saying to me: “You know, I’ve been on a path for a while, I don’t know why things are so hard. People who are not doing any kind of spiritual work are doing so well right now.” So, here’s the thing: first of all, no one is doing well. Don’t confuse numbness with doing well. There are a lot of people that are very numbed right now, but they themselves are going to have to thaw out. I actually worry about people that come and tell me everything is fine. It’s such an intense time of internal turmoil right now, because we’re being forced to wake up, that the "being fine" piece is not even a reality; it’s just a matter of being disconnected so much and being numbed so much that one is not paying attention. But back to the first point: the more awake one is, the more is asked of us. So it’s like going through drug detox - you’re high on drugs, you’re numb, and then you go through drug detox. Drug detox is a very, very painful experience, you body goes through a big metamorphosis, your mind goes, you’re connecting with your spirit - it’s not pleasant stuff. But what is one’s option? Staying addicted to drugs only leads to one thing, which is death. It doesn’t actually help things along. So, when you’re on a spiritual path it is supposed to get harder. If you’ve been on a path for a while and things are just moving along, basically as they always are, that is not a healthy thing: you’re sleepwalking. So, unless you’re being pushed right now, unless your shit is up right now, unless there’s heat under your feet, you’re not detoxing. And detoxing is never pleasant business. Anybody who tells you otherwise is lying to you. Desperation is part of the journey. We really have to push through these feelings, we have to learn to hold them, we have to reach out for help with like-minded others. But if you’re feeling extra anxious these days, if you’ve been feeling really confused, really lost - good. This is it! This is part of it; you’re in there. You’re in there slugging with your shit, lifetime after lifetime, this self-forgetfulness.
The last piece I want to talk to you about today is this whole “spirituality light”, that’s such a part of our culture. You’ve heard me rant about this for a long time. This is not a matter of opinion, this is something that is really important because of all the places that we’re kept asleep: we’re aware if we are over-consuming food or things, or overspending; we’re aware of those places where we might need to be paying attention. Where the sleepwalking piece can really stay in effect is spirituality, especially “spirituality light”, which is such a part of our culture and has a very specific American frequency to it. People from around the world laugh at us because they see it very clearly, and it’s not a matter of being made fun of, it’s that we’re so steeped in this culture, so we don’t see it. But the reason we all buy into it so much is because we are part of this culture. So part of this great dismantling, what’s happening right now is that “spiritual light” is being dismantled. So much of this ego candy stuff that’s being offered is not working. Right now all systems are infected with the disease of forgetfulness. All right? I’m going to repeat that: all systems are infected with the disease of forgetfulness. That’s why politics is not the answer, that’s why the economy is so off, that’s why relationships can be so off, and that’s why spirituality especially is so off. So, not only do these systems not serve self-remembrance, but most, in fact, anesthetize us towards the truth. They keep us more in this slumber, they keep us more asleep.
So, this dismantling energy will continue to affect everything, all systems, everything that is in place. Everything is up for investigation. Our job is to wake up, to continue waking up. Don’t get caught up by all the fear that’s being thrown out there. This is a wonderful process, it’s an important process, things are not working. There’s a tremendous amount of help from all realms. Just sit with yourself every day, show up every day and feel your way into it. And remember: you’re detoxing, it’s normal to feel uncomfortable. But don’t try to pull the cover over your head that will just make it more painful. Like an addict, take it one step at the time. The gift of these times is that things are changing really quickly. Some thing, an issue that took someone 10 or 20 years ago years to sort out, one can really do in a matter of months, or sometimes even weeks. That’s the gift of this energy.
So remember: you signed up for this. You’re not a victim, you’re a co-creator. Every one of us, each individual has a role to play. And we all have front row seats to this great change, to this great remembrance. And really what is it after all? We’re just remembering who we’ve always been. So what’s so scary about that? It’s like sleeping on your arm: you wake up and you think your arm is dead, you freak out, then the blood starts going into the arm and it’s even more painful than when it was numb. Then five minutes later, when you have your full feeling back, you don’t even think about what happened. So, we’re basically in that process - where the arm was numb and now the pins and needles are coming in and it’s really not fun. But hang in there a little bit longer, because the feeling is about to come back and then we can create from a whole new place.