ASK ABDI: WHAT TO DO WITH FEAR AND ANXIETY?
QUESTION: I am in the process of moving to a new apartment and have found the place I love and want, and am waiting for approval… waiting…
I have approval from my present landlord and my upstairs neighbors are taking my current apartment, yet I have been met with incredible resistance and negativity. I am staying in the moment, waiting on news of the apartment I applied for while I continue to look for backup. Besides staying grounded and not quarreling with neighbors and the landlord, what else could I do in this process? My nervousness flares up, but deep down I know I will have a place to live. Is it my ego that desires this apartment I am waiting for approval on, or is it fear of something good?
On a side note, I am detoxing from constant consultation of astrological sites on your suggestion. I am surprised of the outcome so far in so much that there has been a dramatic decline in storytelling. Thank you for suggesting cold turkey.
ANSWER: This is exactly where you need to be: in the moment, learning to trust that all one can do is set everything in order in one’s house and then wait for the universe to act. You have done all you can, what else can you do? If the answer is nothing, then the work is to sit with the anxiety that has nothing to do with the circumstance and everything to do with a past that is long gone. One can not heal the past in the present, one can only be aware in the moment, so that the past does not unduly affect the present. Even the question ”Is it my ego that desires this apartment I am waiting for approval on, or is it fear of something good?” can be an attempt at control. While it is good to examine issues in one’s life, over and constant examination can be another attempt at pushing the anxiety away.
The giving up of attempts at control (whether it is addiction to astrology, psychics, card readings, or thinking about the same issue a million times) brings up intense anxiety. Or more accurately, puts one in touch with the underlying anxiety that is always present. Make friends with this anxiety in small measures at a time. This will allow you to be a driver instead of a passenger in your life. These stressful situations can be used as powerful practices of surrender. Not the fake kind that we all give lip service to, but to actually see where we stand in our connection to our Self.