ASK ABDI: HOW TO FIND A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

QUESTION: I have come a long way since I first contacted you. I still struggle with the thought processes that seem to run through my system, and sometimes question why. I do believe it’s all for a reason, and a good one at that. I have been sitting with some of the things that you mentioned to me in our talk. You had said that I would be getting into healing. Can you tell me a little bit more of what you meant by that? Also, what are some of the obvious signs that a girl is healthy and may be interested in a healthy relationship? The reason I ask this question is because I have never had that. I have started to write my story, and I have already sent some samples to someone in the writing industry that was very impressed.

ANSWER: Yes, you have come a long way. And yes, the thinking is the part you have to focus on now. Go into the fear, that is what all this thinking is covering up. The ego asks all these questions in order to protect itself and try to etch out an area where it feels comfortable and in charge. But each answer will bring on a thousand more questions. It is a fallacy that we reach a mental place where we are in control. That is all a smoke screen. Work on quieting your mind, that is the most important work for you. The only safety is in surrender of the monkey mind, where we realize that there is nothing outside of us that can bring harm to our true nature, since truly it is all one. All words, yes, but not to be digested and packaged in the head, but rather to shake us out of mental slumber. As for healing, writing is a powerful form of healing both for you as well as those that come into contact with it. You have started doing that. And as for relationships, read the chapter on relationships in my book, Shadows on the Path. It’s all in there. The fact in a nutshell: if a relationship feels familiar, run the other way.