ASK ABDI: HOW DO I RELEASE AN OUTGROWN TEACHER?
QUESTION: I have worked with a spiritual teacher for the past decade and a half. She was my personal therapist and then the teacher/adviser of my work, as I have been a therapist for over 10 years. Our relationship has broken down over the last few years. Our last session revealed a lot of countertransference from her towards me, and I've stopped working with her. But there is no resolution and I still feel bound to her as a teacher and a source of the work that I do, as she has been the foundation of it. It is clear that I have confused the "finger pointing with the moon”. I have done a lot to clear this, but need some additional help.
ANSWER: Graduation can come in many guises. Consider this separation as your diploma from the Universe to step out and fully hold your own power. People come to us as healers, for us, not our lineage - not the type of healing we do nor we think we do. As painful as this whole episode can be (and I know, I have the t-shirt), it truly is a parting gift. If we do it correctly, we learn as much from the weaknesses of our teacher as their strengths.
Do remember that as much as you might want a resolution with her, many times these issues can only come to resolution internally by us, with us alone. Do not expect for it to come from/with her. If it does, lovely. If not, heal it within yourself.