ASK ABDI: HOW DO I HEAL THE PAST?
QUESTION: I had some realizations after my last session with you regarding how I need to let go of the past. And, ugh. This severance of the past is fucking hard. I am forcing myself to sit with my anxiety and it sucks. I basically feel like I have anxiety all the time. It’s like a cold. It’s just sitting there. Is this what it’s going to be like? Is it just supposed to hang around me all the time? Or is it possible that I will work through this to be in a different place?
ANSWER: We can not cut off the past. Sometimes, we can learn to coexist with it, sometimes integrate it, and sometimes heal it. But cutting it off does not work, as there is life force that gets cut off as well. Yes, sitting with anxiety is difficult at first. We do everything in our power to push this anxiety away. But making friends with it is the only way that healing takes place. You have been sitting with it for how long exactly that you are asking how much longer it will be? Several weeks, if even that? Truly sitting?
This stage of it will pass. There will be days that are easier and days that are harder, but there will be a change if you stay with it. What other options do you have? You have run away from this feeling for decades to no avail. Sit and feel what messages it is bringing you. This feeling is not the enemy, even though it might feel like that. It is merely parts of yourself that you have disowned. Own your self.