ASK ABDI: HOW DO I DISCONNECT FROM SOMEONE THAT IS CONSTANTLY ON MY MIND?

QUESTION: I am a female intuitive healer, and one year ago I met someone (not romantically) at a social gathering through a friend. I had a past life soul recognition at that moment that was incredibly strong. I felt he had the same experience. I do not see this person socially, but feel him around me constantly. Since that meeting it has been intense and a challenge to deal with the connection. I have dreams about him monthly. I am an empath, but because I am - I have had to learn how to clear myself and disconnect efficiently.

I can’t quite disconnect from this man mentally. I have been feeling his anxieties on a psychic level, and I knew there was an issue about to surface for him, I have felt it coming for a year. Two weeks ago, a mutual friend told me the issue came out and that he was getting ready to address it. I had a dream with him where he asked for my help. Our mutual friend told him about my energy work and is suggesting he should reach out to me, but so far he hasn’t.

My question is this: is it hard to disconnect because this is our karma and it needs to be worked out in this way? Or is my own issue/pattern/belief system interfering with the process by “not wanting to disconnect”? I think I will be the one helping him through at some point or life, but I am well aware the request needs to come from him. My attempts to disconnect have all failed so far and I would love to hear your insight.

ANSWER: As an intuitive, there are issues at play here that can cause confusion. When we are open or opening on a psychic level to someone it is sometimes easy to confuse someone’s soul with their personality. What this means is that on a soul level we can be picking up all kinds of information or be involved in dialogues that have no bearing on what we find with the personality/the person in the flesh. Another way of saying this is that we can wrongly assume that someone’s potential will become reality. That is not always, or many times, the case. Or painfully so, ever be the case. As the veil of forgetfulness becomes thinner, we all need to be more clear about this issue: the difference between potential and actual in another. We have to make sure that we are dealing with what is present, not what can potentially be present at some future date. We can never underestimate all of our addiction to pain, no matter that deep healing can be a few steps away. 

When there is a past connection, this can be even more confusing. Different memories can superimpose themselves on the present moment, further muddying the waters. The psychological facts of transference can be in effect on these psychic levels. This means we can be functioning deaf, dumb, and blind. Life in her mystery brings people into our sphere, and us into theirs, for all manners of healing. Many times the nature of these interactions is beyond our mental comprehension. Do not assume that just because you are the healer in this situation that there is not some healing occurring for you.

You met this person at a social event, not as a healer. Even though there was a strong recognition, this person did not come to you for healing. A safe rule of any healer and healing is to do nothing unless a person asks us directly for a healing. Not on a psychic or telepathic level, but actually walks into our healing space incarnate and does so. Until that happens, step back and look at your own needs. You talk a lot and clearly about what is going on with him, but not about you. What are you getting out of this interaction emotionally even though it is not physical? It is not about taking a butcher knife and cutting cords here but to use your sharp inner sight and gently put the gaze onto your own heart. You are writing because you know the answer already. It is always hardest to see our own issues.