QUESTION: I need some guidance in how to lose my fear of demons and spirits. I also want to understand why this happening to me. Why do negative people and entities want to destroy me? Who am I? I need to lose the fear to see the real me. Intense meditation creates a terrorizing moment for me. I start to think of all the horrible things I've lived and seen throughout my life. My family are kind people with mental illnesses.

Since I was a child, I have been intuitive. I didn’t know what I was experiencing. I began to understand spiritual beings were always around me when my grandmother died. Some spirits tried to communicate with me. But I was always scared. At one point, I thought I was schizophrenic because I heard voices and sensed different presences. I am able to sense the energy around me from people, places, and things. I can sense a person’s aura, spirit (guardian), and feelings. If I focus on a single individual, their energy takes over me and I become weakened. I can not look certain people in the eyes or stare at them in crowded public spaces because their energy attaches to me. Both dark and light. I've learned to control that energy by cleansing, being around nature, and meditation, but spirits and demons frighten and overwhelm me. I feel helpless. My career didn’t help much. I used to be an archaeologist. The spirit realm becomes strong around excavations when their areas are being disturbed. They would follow me. They will show up in my dreams, in my home, and at work.

Both positive and negative spirits (energy) follow me and drain my energy for days, just as living people. Although my guardians protect me, there were times they couldn’t stop the negative energy. There was a dark entity/demon attached to my grandfather. For some reason, he chose me since birth. He was always observing me from afar. My guardians kept him away. When my grandfather began to age, and I became a young adult (around 23), he decided to attach himself to me. I refused him immediately. But there were many, many problems occurring with my family, that I became distracted and the fear took over me. Since that moment, around 2002, he was haunting me and trying to control my essence. I fought for many years. My guardians and I finally sent him away. I knew he had shortened my life from the battles. I am still in the process of overcoming the terrors and fear, because once he left, others try to take his place. I fight them back and yell at them in my head to go away. I know how to get rid of any spirit and demon, but I don’t wish to do that anymore. I want to feel confident, secure, and safe enough to accept and face what is happening. Fighting them for so many years has caused me to age prematurely. Since 2003, I have been suffering from various autoimmune illnesses. I want to have the proper tools to accept the good and get rid of the mischievous dark beings. Although I have negative experiences, positive people and moments help me recharge. For example, something amazing happened to me recently that enlightened me and reassured me that I am somebody special.

ANSWER: The good news and the bad news is that you are not “somebody special”, you are somebody unique. The special part is what gets all of us into trouble. Underneath the need to feel special is a deep sense of unworthiness and self-loathing. So first off, step back and sit with what you just read. It is not meant as judgment, but to set you free. Do understand that we are not a victim of circumstances in the astral world that you describe. We can make a choice to stop much of these energies that you describe by following certain practices (grounding work does wonders here), dietary inclusions (more dense foods), or studying with people that can teach you how to protect yourself. I understand how scary and exhausting some of it can be; I too have experienced what you describe. But I consciously decided to stop much of it half way through my life, because I too was afraid of losing my sanity. The hearing spirits/voices is what broke the camel’s back in my case: I just demanded for it to stop and it did. So examine where you are welcoming/allowing it to continue. It could be that you have not realized you do have a say in it or that it has made you feel special. More likely the truth lies somewhere in the middle. If you want to continue to play in these other realms, educate yourself. One would not dare do an excavation without knowing the proper tools and procedure to use. Traveling these realms is no different.

Stand somewhere where you can put your feet into the earth and FEEL the earth. Let it recharge you and drain away the exhaustion. Let it activate your lower chakras and ground you. As soon as you feel a spirit or hear a voice - feel your feet; do not follow it to your head and upper chakras. Let go, and strengthen the muscle of letting go. Step out of the realm of the invisible for a spell and be firmly planted in this three-dimensional world. Let this be your medicine. Be your own master.