Relationship as Yoga: Podcast Episode 2

Relationship is the ultimate and most arduous yoga. If we understand yoga to mean union, then relationship is a direct path to that union. A truly intimate relationship can be a powerful vehicle for spiritual development. It can be a safe place where we learn about ourselves while we dig beneath our socially accepted masks and learn what makes us tick. And yet there is one word that best describes the response we all have toward intimate relationship: terror. In this workshop aspects and issues that keep us from entering into or fully engaging in relationships are examined.

This workshop was recorded on October 25, 2009 at the Downtown Yogaworks in NYC.
This is the second half (Episode 2, 1:03:04 running time, 29.5MB) of the two-hour workshop.

In email or via RSS, you may use the following link to access/download the podcast directly to your computer (warning: approximately 29.5MB): http://abdiassadi.com/podcasts/abdi_assadi_yogaworks_v1_episode2.mp3

Or, you may access this podcast episode via your iTunes application:

 Launch iTunes and Subscribe to the Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:03:04 — 28.9MB)

Relationship As Yoga: Podcast Episode 1

Relationship is the ultimate and most arduous yoga. If we understand yoga to mean union, then relationship is a direct path to that union. A truly intimate relationship can be a powerful vehicle for spiritual development. It can be a safe place where we learn about ourselves while we dig beneath our socially accepted masks and learn what makes us tick. And yet there is one word that best describes the response we all have toward intimate relationship: terror. In this workshop aspects and issues that keep us from entering into or fully engaging in relationships are examined.

This workshop was recorded on October 25, 2009 at the Downtown Yogaworks in NYC.
This is the first half (Episode 1, 1:04:58 running time, 30.5MB) of the two-hour workshop.

In email or via RSS, you may use the following link to access/download the podcast directly to your computer (warning: approximately 30.5MB): http://abdiassadi.com/podcasts/abdi_assadi_yogaworks_v1_episode1.mp3

Or, you may access this podcast episode via your iTunes application:

 Launch iTunes and Subscribe to the Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:04:58 — 29.7MB)

Letter from a sister on the path

I am posting a letter from a friend this time around. It is the most honest writing I have read in some time. And it points to an authentic place where true inner work can begin and take hold: our ego on its knees. Most else is posturing and hiding under the false guise of doing spiritual work.

A,

I was chanting today, and it has stirred up some interesting emotions as it always does. Chanting has a very clear way of cutting through to the heart, I guess that’s why I love it so much.. .

Any how, I have hit a very important wall…

A wall that for so long I thought I could “work away” or “fix away” or “diet away” or “fast away” or “Forum away” or “travel away” from, but I know that trying to fix something on the outside, hoping for a lasting shift on the inside, doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because I’ve tried it, I’ve pretty much tried every external way I know how to fix these feelings/to fix myself, except becoming a raging alcoholic or drug addict, which really isn’t any different from starving yourself, except for the fact that starving yourself seems to be in these days. And I’m over trying to get away from these feelings of inadequacy, fear and judgment, the ones that drive me to over compensate, and fill my plate, and over whelm myself with tasks in order to avoid going into the depths of these emotions. I want to look at them head on, no crutches…

To tell you the truth I am just so tired of trying to change my external reality hoping that it will shift the inner, and I know that “the next thing” is not going to be “the thing” to make that shift happen.. I see that the shift I am looking for will come from the inside, if it is to have a lasting impact it has to, and that is scary because I have to let go of my crutches, and I have to finally go to the place I sometimes write about but avoid going all the way…

I am ready to know my shadow, and I am ready to make friends with it and try and understand what/why I have been trying to get rid of it for so long. It is hard for me to reach out for help, because I am geared to do things alone, but I am ready, and I will do what ever it takes because that’s what I am here to do, to heal this shit. I want to go all the way into the wounds, I want to stop bandaging them up.

The dessert of the desert

The cool, dark and star studded sky gives way to primordial heat and dryness my ancestors knew well. In the middle of the Baja desert, the eye adjusts to infinite tones of browns; foreign and seemingly monotone only days ago. Starting a rapidly obsolete mode of transportation, I kick the red metal mule to life. The dirt bike’s carbs suck in liquid dinosaur bones and spit out heat and a staccato barking sound. As the bike vibrates through my body, I think of my grandmother’s stories about traveling by camel through the deserts of her homeland, leaving the safety of the caravan oasis to travel to another village. I feel the excitement she must have felt, first time leaving her village as I let out the clutch and bury the tires into the sand.

Many decades have gone by since I first heard of this sacred place and here I am basking in its cleansing fire. Amazing how the mind works, projecting itself out into time and space borne out of desire. A young boy’s burning desires in the form of a poster of a desert racer on a bedroom wall in one continent and time are experienced by a man in another. The vastness of this place enforces a sense of an utter smallness that the boy could not have grasped but is humbling to the man.

I say a prayer for my grandmother; all the hardships she endured for me to be here today; propelling pieces of her DNA across this baking landscape. The little boy that envisioned it screams out loud with joy in my heart. And now I stand on these here foot pegs digging deep into this delicious dessert, grateful for each mouthful of sand dust I am being served.

Authenticity and labels

I was seated at a large table at a social gathering recently where the topic turned to spirituality. People began describing their adopted spiritual paths like tourists flashing ID at a border crossing. “I am a Buddhist” was a common one; a couple of Catholics and converts to Judaism were also added to the mix. Then one of the group, a spiritual teacher of some stature, started talking about the authenticity of his esoteric path and its ancient lineage. Authenticity is a word that, when uttered, is frequently followed by something inauthentic. I was not let down in this instance, as the person in question displayed a formidable ego and total lack of self-awareness as he rattled on about the importance of humility and love in his path. There was nothing malicious in his presentation; in fact, his knowledge was impressive and informative. What was disconcerting was the massive, unconsciousness gap between how he perceived himself and how he expressed himself–his hot mind and his frozen heart.

I felt a pain in my heart for the man, for all those around me and for myself. The tightening feeling in my chest was due to the fact of how far we all can stray from our authentic selves. We travel that distance to avoid emotional pain and the feelings of anxiety that pervade our experience in this realm. I thought of all the times in my own life when I have hidden under someone else’s banner instead of facing my internal demons. All the -isms and the -ists, from Judaism and Buddhism to Taoism and Jainism–what do we really intend when we make those allegiances? Labels can be and often are a shallow and unexamined definition of what makes us whole. Is the experience of one teacher tens, hundreds or thousands of years ago enough to define us, us unique souls who don’t share a single fingerprint? In my own life, I have learned to appreciate and learn from all these great and ancient traditions while tending to my own map as revealed to me in my own psyche and heart.

I believe the purpose of a healthy path is to bring us closer to our own true nature. Too often I have unconsciously misused teachings as a veil to hide behind rather than as a cleaning rag to dust off my mind and heart. I have rattled off a passage from some scripture when the moment would have been better met through an act of vulnerability, introspection or just remaining in the unknown. We all have a gift to share with ourselves and others that only comes about by us being authentic to who we are. In fact, that is our gift to the world: consciously manifesting our own true nature, with curiosity, awareness and compassion.